How to help yourself when you’re feeling stuck

Have you ever felt like you’re stuck and don’t know what to do next? Unsure about the direction your career is taking? Or utterly uninspired by your current situation?

I hear you. I have been there myself. A few years ago, I felt lost, frustrated and had no clue how to move forward. I felt stagnant in my role as a Personal Assistant and did not know how to map out what I should do next.

First things first, through my training as a Life Coach, study of psychology and general experience of being human, I have learnt that life is fluid. With the ups come the downs, and with sadness, there is also joy. Sometimes we feel right on track and other times we feel at a loss. This is all normal.

We are wonderfully intricate, complicated and unique individuals, and this means that reflecting and continually making new choices is all part of the mix of life.

We cannot deny that our external environment influences us, whether it be the news we consume, the people we surround ourselves with, the food we eat or the way we move our bodies.

However, it’s not all out of your hands, and this is not a message of doom and gloom. You are more in control than you ever realised and you are more powerful than you believe you are right now.

A crucial part of feeling in alignment, getting back on track and knowing where to head to next is to stop, pause, reflect and ask ‘what if..?’. What if I could have what I wanted? What if I believed I deserved the change I desire? What if I had the courage I need?

If you are anything like me, in your daily life you will be mostly rushing around, consumed with your to-do list, perhaps even focused on the needs of others, and so spend little time checking in with yourself. And yet, it is essential that you do.

If you do not know who you are and what you want, I promise no one else will be able to work it out for you!

So, where to start you ask me?

My suggestion is to give yourself the gift of a small window of time (or a big one if you can) and coach yourself. Coaching is an incredibly powerful tool that ordinarily will take place between a trained Coach and an individual. The Coach is trained to ask powerful questions that encourage the individual to reflect, dream big and dig deep to uncover new ways of being and to create new inspired actions.

Another key part of coaching is being held accountable. When we keep commitments to ourselves, often we let them slide as no one knows about them. But a coach will powerfully hold you to account which has been proven to increase the likelihood of taking action.

Another excellent benefit of coaching is you can coach yourself! By simply asking yourself powerful questions, you can indulge in the process of answering them. And by doing so, I hope you’ll uncover something new and see a situation through a different perspective.

Here are some self-coaching questions I would recommend to get you started:

Pause and look back over your career, what have been your proudest moments? (However big or small. No need to be modest, this is about celebrating the good stuff!)

  • What if you could create your ideal role, what would you be doing?
  • How would it FEEL to be doing that role?
  • When you look around, who inspires you? What is it about them that inspires you?
  • What thoughts are you regularly thinking that are not useful or are holding you back?
  • What if you replaced these with empowering thoughts, what would they be?
  • Considering what you want and how you want to feel, what is one small action you can take today to move you closer to that dream?
  • Who could you ask for help?
  • Who will you share this with so they can hold you accountable?

I know you may be busy, I know it may feel daunting, but I promise you if you give yourself some time and space, you will begin to find clarity and be able to feel into what is the best next step for you. Inspiration will rarely strike us when we are consumed, frantic and busy. And if these questions don’t all speak to you, create your own.

Make yourself the priority today. Take 5 minutes for you. You deserve it.

About the Author:

Faye Kilgour, The ‘What If’ Coach.

Faye specialises in supporting women who feel lost, frustrated and overwhelmed, to reduce the overwhelm, indulge in the ‘what if’ and map out their next right step.

Be out more about Faye’s work on her website, and follow Faye on Instagram @thewhatifcoach for more coaching insights, inspiring videos and lots of tips and tricks for breaking free from feeling stuck.